GO LESBIANS!

Why?

The illustrious Dino and I have embarked on a road trip from the currently bleak and rainy landscape of Maryland to the hopefully warm and welcoming beaches of St. Augustine, Florida. While driving for hours in Dino's posh Volvo, both of our tummies disconcerted with the Aunt Sarah Pancake House brunch we gave them, Dino and I began recounting folly after folly of Vh1 Celebreality and MTV's "A Shot At Love with Tila Tequila"....

The conversation covered such common points as:

OF COURSE Tila did not choose the female prospect at the finale. The show's sole purpose is to further sexualize bisexuality and show that, in the end, of course a woman REALLY wants a man. It was obvious that the guy, no matter how comparatively air-headed he seemed next to his female counterpart, was going to win. Women revolve around phalluses, and only have sex with each other when one is not around. Duh. Oh and lesbians don't have real sex. Har har.

Then there's Rock of Love with Bret Michaels. Dino laughed raucously about how pathetic he seems still performing "Every Rooooose Has Its Thorn" with his bandana and rock-stylistic long hair. It's true. The fact that a bunch of women are assembling to publicly compete for a man's affection, mostly via showing skin and giving lap dances, is loathsome enough. Add to it that they're exploiting themselves on public tv for the pseudo affections of a washed-out rock star and you have enough puke fodder for a decade to come.

Then there's Charm School, which is problematic in its own right because while it is trying to reinforce the common courtesies that spitting, swearing profusely , etc. are not civil habits, the show focuses solely on women, simultaneously delivering the message that sexual and physical aggression are unbecoming from women.

It greatly amuses my travel companion and myself that Vh1 first recruits women to exploit themselves by hungering for C/D-list celebs with pin-up photo shoot competitions and mud wrestling--er, football matches, and then follows up for bonus moola by utilizing them for a second show where they're told that everything that the producers probably egged them onto do in the first place--is plainly unseemly.

Why do lesbians rock my world in this regard? Because damn, Vh1 and MTV have failed to create some trashy "DATE CHER'S DAUGHTER" (should I look up her name? I'm not really a huge Cher fan) pathetic "let's cater to the lesbian community" reality show.....

So, yeah. ROCK ON LESBIANS. DON'T LET Vh1 touch you.

~Sammi